My very good blogger and facebook friend Donna lost her mother recently. Donna was the full time caregiver of her mom as I am of mine. I looked to her blog for advice, strength, comfort and just plan good reading. Donna is a very good writer . If you have not read her blogs you must. Just click on the title of this post and go for a visit.
Donna misses her mom. And the fact that she is free to do as she pleases anytime and for as long as she wants has not set in yet I don't think. I know these days are coming for me and I am a little scared. What will I do when mom passes. Can I go back to work or will I be a big chicken to do anything else after just caring for mom all these years. Sometimes when I drive to Wal-mart the traffic overwhelms me. All the people makes me nervous and I just want to go back home.
I hope I can be strong like Donna . She went to Church with her whole family this Sunday . No one had to stay home with mom. Missing mom is hard but getting to go to church with nothing to worry about at home must of been refreshing. I hope she forgives me for writing this post about her but she is one of my inspirations and I want her to know how proud I am of getting to know her. And I hope I can be as good a caregiver as she was.
Monday, August 23, 2010
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The Early, Mild to Moderate and Advanced stages of Alzheimer's in the brain.
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Karen, I don't know what that feeling is completely, but I know that my sister-in-law has had to go through something similar after my brother died. She was his care giver for 2 yrs. The first time back to church was difficult, as was the first dinner out with friends. Grieving is not always about the person that we have lost, but continuing without them. It will take time. Allow yourself the time. You have already begun because you have already lost the mother that raised you. The mom you are caring for now is only a piece of who she was.
ReplyDeleteHi Karen,
ReplyDeleteIt takes time, and part of the problem with new freedom after losing your loved one for whom you have been caring is a sense of guilt --- that you only gained that freedom because of his or her death.
That's I think a normal and very human reaction, and it helps to talk it over with someone -- maybe someone from Hospice -- who can help put it into perspective.
I have watched my Dad slowly recover from Mom's loss in January -- not to stop missing or mourning her, but to let himself have a good time again. It's a lesson for all of us -- I think for Donna, for you, for anyone who loses someone -- I think especially someone thru Alzheimers, where the mourning and missing starts long before losing them --- that life does go on, and we are supposed to be IN that life.
When the time comes it will be hard, but you will find your way in your own time. Don't push yourself, and don't worry about it, my friend.
Cass
OOOO that double edge sword... it is hard and I do hope you can ease yourself into getting on with life. I am sure your friends and your mom would NOT be happy to think they caused you to STOP. Think of life as CHAPTERS,, finishing one starting another... ((HUGS)) to your friend and you too. We have lost one of ours yesterday,,, She was very special, ok they ALL are but you DO have favorites.
ReplyDeleteThanks guys. I am learning alot from Donna and you all too. Thank you again.
ReplyDeleteI know what you're saying since I work full time and take care of my Mom every other morning before work. Sometimes I think about how it will be when I just have to go to work and that's my only obligation.
ReplyDeleteSome day, your life will be your own again and you'll adjust!
Karen,
ReplyDeleteAre you still raising funds for the Memory Walk or is it over? If so, I would like to sponsor you. Please tell me how to go about it.
Your Friend,
Deborah
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSuzy caring for mom and working about killed me . Bless you.
ReplyDeleteDeborah I tried to put the link on here but it did not work. But if you go to my Memory Walk post and click on Memory Walk it will take you to my walkers page and you can donate there. Thank you so much. I also sent you an email with the link. Hope it works. Thank you so much.
Karen,
ReplyDeleteDone!
Your Friend,
Deborah
Thank you so much!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletebless your heart, i work at home and after working in an office for years i have noticed i am not that keen on going out of the house, once you get out though you do feel better its just motivating yourself to do it.
ReplyDelete