I want to think all my blog friends for there nice comments on my silly post. Don't know why I posted my last post but it was something to post. I am running out of things to say. Nothing different happens anymore. Mom just stays the same. Which is a good thing. No worst for the wear.
My sister was here all day yesterday. I did not go to the mall like I had planned but it was nice my sister being here. She cannot get mom up and down by herself nor can anyone else . The Lift scares her. She and my brother have dumped mom in the floor before. My sister has actually called 911 because she thought mom was hurt. I have dumped her more than once but not for along time. And since my sister hurt her back she can not do a lot of moving ,pushing and lifting without the Lift like she used to. Which you have to do a lot of. Also I can have people from Hospice come sit with mom but they are just volunteers they will only sit no lifting with or without the Lift. No feeding or changing either. Of course the Aid can do everything but she can not sit with mom while I run out she is a busy women many more baths to give to other people. But My sister feeds, changes and dresses mom . I can come and go whenever I please so when she is here I am really free to do what I want. But I need to be home when it is time to move her from one place to the next. Bed, wheelchair or easy chair. If mom was in a nursing home she would be bed bound all day but not here we keep moving her around. It gets on your nerves a bit and that is where the crying comes in. If I am alone and I am about to get her out of bed for the 100th time I start to cry. I just don't want to do it. But than I do so she won't get a bed sore. No bed sores yet. Thank the Lord.
I don't cry because I am lonely. I have family and friends come and go a lot. But like my Bear Waltz blog friend said they rarely understand whats going on. My Friends are here for me so that is good. One of my school friends is bringing mom some canned peaches sometime this week because she loves her peach puree. And I have a couple friends I used to work with that likes to bring me Take-out. But family sometimes makes me nervous . They just come in I think so they can say they came to check on mom and they are gone. But if I need them I can call on them anytime . I do know that. And if I said I am going to be gone all day they would stay but than mom would just sit in her chair all day or bed . I can't stand that. I have done it but it ruins my day because I need to get home to move mom. Or change her. What if she went to the bathroom while in her chair. She really needs to be put to bed and changed. Anyway today is not a crying day so far. It is raining outside. Tears from Heaven. I like that.
I don't cry because I am lonely. I have family and friends come and go a lot. But like my Bear Waltz blog friend said they rarely understand whats going on. My Friends are here for me so that is good. One of my school friends is bringing mom some canned peaches sometime this week because she loves her peach puree. And I have a couple friends I used to work with that likes to bring me Take-out. But family sometimes makes me nervous . They just come in I think so they can say they came to check on mom and they are gone. But if I need them I can call on them anytime . I do know that. And if I said I am going to be gone all day they would stay but than mom would just sit in her chair all day or bed . I can't stand that. I have done it but it ruins my day because I need to get home to move mom. Or change her. What if she went to the bathroom while in her chair. She really needs to be put to bed and changed. Anyway today is not a crying day so far. It is raining outside. Tears from Heaven. I like that.
Karen...My daddy as you know in in a nursing home. I went to see him for Valentine's Day and we had to move him from his wheel chair to his bed. My hubby and I could NOT get him in bed and positioned and finally called for Aide help. I was in tears when I left.
ReplyDeleteI hate all of this...I do what I can because I love the father I've known for so many years. But...it is all overwhelming.
I understand your heart.
Love, Rebecca
You are amazing Karen. It's incredible your mom has no bedsores. Also, using a lift is scary! We have them at work, and I feel like I have to check every connection 20 times before pumping and moving. Your mom must have been an amazing woman during your growing up to have raised such a loving, dedicated and caring daughter as you.
ReplyDeleteKaren, you are such a good daughter. Sometimes, we do what we should do out weighs what we want to do. Fortunately for your mom, they are the same in your eyes. She is in good health because of you. HUGS. Thanks for your sweet words on my blog. My email server is having problems, so I couldn't send a person email.
ReplyDeleteBeckie
Thank you guys. And best wishes to you all.
ReplyDeleteAaww Karen, sooo much alike we are in our place in life and our mom's too. I won't use the lift, this house and the rooms are just to small for things like that. I can lift her from her bed into her chair easy enough, the bear hug thing, no more waltzing though for a long time now. It is the getting her from her chair back into her bed that is the hard part, but I manage it. No one else can move her cept the aides, but they come early and I don't get her up that early. I don't have family to call on and any given time, maybe a couple people but it is just me. My husband left for WV last week, my brother stopped by on Fri to drop some Boost off, and he knows I am alone, but he won't stop again or even call to check on us. It is what it is, that is our favorite saying lol, sad huh.
ReplyDeleteThere is a substitute aide here right now, makes me a bit uptight, because she doesn't know the routine and so on, but I'll get through it.
Hope your day and mom's goes well, give me a holler on fb or email me if you need to chat ok?
Love ya!
Even though this weighs on your heart so much, I don't think god would have given you this task without thinking you were the strongest person to handle it. Your a much stronger person then you know. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks you all so much. I am not strong or I would not be so gumpy all the time. But knowing I can holler at you all anytime helps.
ReplyDeleteKaren I am sorry that you have to go through all this, but you will be blessed for taking care of your Mom the way you do. My Mother cared for my Dad in his last days before losing his battle with cancer the same way you care for your Mother. Hospice came everyday, but your right, they don't do any of the actual work that goes into taking care of the person. My Mother also took care of my Grandmother after she had her stroke. I have always understand extactly what you go through, and I really wish there was more I could do to help. Please know, that I am always here for you. If you need a shoulder to cry on, or whatever, I'm here. Even if it's just bringing you peaches.
ReplyDeleteI've said this before but I think it bears repeating: you are wonderful to do this! So many people would not. It takes a very special and compassionate person to make it through these kinds of tough times. And you're so right that she would not get that kind of care elsewhere. Nobody can love her like you do. :-)
ReplyDeleteWe are good today. Thanks you two. Bring on the Peaches. :)
ReplyDeleteKaren,
ReplyDeleteYou know from a post you read (Bearings) that my father was eventually placed in a nursing home after suffering a stroke. My father was not old (in todays terms) when this occurred -- early 60s. My mother and sister were both nurses at this nursing home yet I once found his 'dead' arm and hand purple with bruises because he got his wheel chair stuck in the doorway of the elevator. The doors repeatedly opened and closed on his arm. He never felt anything but the humiliation of not being able to move. My heart breaks each time I recall it.
Please make sure you tend to all your needs -- more than food and shelter. You need to tend to your soul. You need to do something for yourself that will feed your spirit and energize you. If you don't all of this will consume you.
- Deborah
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ReplyDeleteI pray I never have to put mom in a home. Just to many patients and not enough nurses to go around. Prayers that we can stay away from the home.
ReplyDeleteG'eve Karen ~ We had the same issues with DHs Mother. Sad, eventually she had to be in a home she got so bad & Dad's needs were important also. It tore our hearts to see her like this for all those years.
ReplyDeleteYou do what you have to do, your love for your Mother is heart rendering. Bless you all.
Hugs, Marydon
Karen,
ReplyDeleteStop by my post today, perhaps you will participate and get a bit of sunshine in your mailbox for the next few weeks.
Deborah
Karen...
ReplyDeleteYou don't even KNOW how amazing you are!
Mona
I feel for you, I really do. We lost my Grandma to Alzheimers. It's horrible and it leaves us feeling so empty.
ReplyDeleteOn a different note:
I see you were interested in the postcard exchange. If you want one from Oklahoma, please email me so we can trade cards.
Karen, I appreciated you acknowledging my comment on your blog in an email! How kind!
ReplyDeleteMona
P.s. go ahead and bet on Jesus! I'll bet it isn't even a sin..and besides I'll BET it would make HIM smile. :)
Karen, you are an angel and it's ok to cry but I worry that you are getting depressed. Have you talked to your doctor about you!! Not your Mom but you.
ReplyDeleteI found it so difficult for people who just drop by occassionally to know one fraction of what actually goes on with an Alzheimers patient. They just have no clue.
God bless you.
Thanks everyone . And I am so sorry for all of the ones who are or have had to deal with this in any way. Mom and I are good and Thanks again for your Thought and prayers.
ReplyDeleteKaren, I "dropped" Jim a few times. Sometimes it just takes courage to keep on going.
ReplyDeleteI said a prayer for you.
ReplyDeleteShall we exchange postcards?
Please email me your address.
decortoadore@hotmail.com
This should be fun!
Also I am having a giveaway on my blog.
Thanks all for the nice words. I was going to do the postcard exchange but than I realized I would have to go buy stamps,and cards. And I have a hard enough time getting my bottom out of the house to buy food. LOL!!! But thanks for wanted to be one of my pinpals.
ReplyDelete