Mom is still hanging in there. I knew it was not her time. Of course if I had sent her to the Hospice Home I am sure she would of went ahead and died now or in the near future. They are wonderful people but that is there job . Make the patient comfortable but let nature take it's course.
She is eating better and not choking as much. I have to give her morphine which opens up her lungs. She did have fluid on her lungs and still does but the nurse gave her a pill to help get rid of that. Morphine is good for pain and helping her breathe. It really works . The blisters and sores are still popping up. She has two new ones. I hate that because I love getting her out of bed but I hate having to take it easy not to tear her skin. I can't get her in her easy chair by myself with out rubbing all her sores so need someone help me. The nurse has them wrapped up good but I still hate it. Just a week ago I could get her in a out of bed, wheelchair and easy chair without worrying at all. Now I have to take it so easy. She eats if I get her out of bed. Not as much as a week ago. She went from 4 cups of hot cereal or more a day to 2 cups if we are lucky. Fruit and yogurt are still her food of choice . Drinks has to be thick like puree.
Her bones are sticking out a lot. Looks like the one on her shoulder wants to pop out of her skin. It is such a major change. I feel like she is getting close to the end. But I am not giving up on her . As long as she opens her mouth for a bite I feel she is ok. Papa told me to tell her I love her and I did and she said I love you too. So she is still in there somewhere. I don't want to just send her away and let her starve to death. If she is going to die I think I will let it happen here. But next week may be a different story. Thanks for the comments and prayers. Last week I was going a bit crazy but now I'm back to normal. Almost.
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I don't even know what to say, just know that I am praying for you and your mom.
ReplyDeleteI took care of my dad until he died. He died one night peacefully in his sleep. I was so glad that he died at home like he wanted to.
Hang in there, Karen.
Bless your heart, Karen. You express this journey so well and your love for mom is so evident.
ReplyDeletePrayers & loving hugs to you. Take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteBeckie
I'm with you in spirit. hugs, judi
ReplyDeleteKaren I'll cry for you. You just smile. She needs that!
ReplyDeleteI keep you and your mom in my prayers; it is not an easy thing for you or her to go through. I remember being so confused when my mom was in the final stages; I wasn't sure I could let her go, but I couldn't bear to see her stay here and suffer. I guess everything has to happen when it is supposed to, regardless of how we feel. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and sending prayers your way. You've really honored your mom with such love and care. What a gift you have given her.
ReplyDeleteNancy
Dear Karen,
ReplyDeletePlease be sure to be as gentle with yourself as you are, and have been, so wonderfully tending to your Mom.
It may be, as you fear, that you are approaching a transition where words of love (as Papa said )and tender touch,just lovingly moistening the mouth and lips, are all the succour for the soul and balm for the body your Mom needs, rather than calories.And to have you near.
Such a hard one for you though... But you will know...your Mom will 'tell' you...be guided by her , it is not a starving at the stage when the body can't really make use of calories...
Thinking of you ,
Chris,
retired doc,UK
Was grateful to be able to share this last journey at home with both my parents with Hospice suppport)
God bless you. I think that is the most valuable thing I can say to you right now. I can't imagine going through this with my own mother. (She went through it with her father.) Thoughts and prayers are with you in abundance.
ReplyDeleteYou have been such a pillar of strength through all this. I know your mom loves you for it.
Oh Karen.... you're so sweet!!!! I really can't imagine how difficult this journey must be for you..........Just know that you have a lot of friends thinking of you and praying for you and your mom!!!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Dolores
I can't imagine how difficult times are for you. You are one strong woman. God blesses his angels on earth and you are one of those.
ReplyDeleteI was just in a hospice house two days ago and my grandpa passed away yesterday. But that was his choice- he signed his own papers and everything and said that was what he wanted. So, I can understand you not wanting to give up on her. I hope things get a little easier for you in the following days. Your in my thoughts. -V
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone. You help me alot.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear about these latest developments with your mother, Karen. I remember how confused I felt when my mom was near the end. While I knew that something had changed drastically, I couldn't believe it was her time. It wasn't until the Hospice nurse told me she had 24 hours or less that I could really believe it. I was very glad they told me that as I was able to be there with her in her final hours.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and prayers are with you and your dear Mom. One valuable piece of advice I received at the time was that the sense of hearing is the last to go. So, even though it seemed like she couldn't hear me, I talked to her and told her everything I wanted to say. There is peace in that.
To everything there is a season. My thoughts go out for peact to you and mom.
ReplyDelete