I wonder why my mom has to live like this? Not really living just existing. Last night my best friends dad died.He was a wonderful man and he could always make me smile. He has been sick a long time with diabetes. But he was still living. He could go to Wal-mart or to visit his kids on Christmas. Lately he has had lots of surgeries on his feet caused by the diabetes. I think after his last surgery he would of been almost back to normal but than he had a heart attack or stroke that left him with no brain activity and than he died.Of course we will never know. But He did not go on for years like people with Alz's. He was taken soon and that is a blessing for him and his family.
Has you might remember one of my friends died this last winter from a fall on the ice. She was young and had many years left to live yet my mom just sits in her chair no life ahead of her. Just existing.
And 20 yrs ago my dad died in a farming accident. He loved cattle and he died working cattle. But he died way to soon. He was strong and healthy and had a great mind. But here sits my mom no life just existing. I wonder why? God only knows. And I trust in his judgement. It is all I have.
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Trusting In His wisdom is always best. I was listening to a "Joni and Friends" Podcast this morning. She featured a family with two children born with a disability such that they may never be able to leave home. The parents don't know why either, but will have to live all their lives with these two children. I am glad that Joni has used her abilities in the midst of her own disability to communicate so well. You now communicate for your mom and you do it so well. Thanks for blogging, Karen.
ReplyDeleteOh Karen, these are the questions, we as humans, always have.......why? I too, many times, ask why? I don't like to admit it, but many times I get so angry, but then I try and remind myself, how wonderful it is to know, this life, as we know it, isn't the end.
ReplyDeleteIt's so exciting to think of our loved ones being whole again.......
Know that you're in my thoughts and prayers!
Hugs & prayers for you tonight. I remember my FIL talking about the last years of my MIL's life. "This is no life." It was only after she died that he had a few yrs of joyful living. He truly valued those years, doing what he wanted.
ReplyDeleteBeckie
Death is never pretty or kind to the living and usually not to those dying. It is however, the trade off for any moment of life. The only one who can answer why and give meaning is us, we the living. We must make something good and kind out of what looks unfair and evil. IMO
ReplyDeletePowerful and universal questions. Sometimes real life makes no sense. I love what the one commenter said about how comforting it is to think of our loved ones made whole and pain free again after death.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had a good answer for you. It has always seemed particularly cruel to me to both the sufferer and those who love them.
ReplyDeleteI do know that your loving care of her counts for a lot. We really don't know what they are or aren't aware of at any given time. I have to think that having your love and support makes a great deal of difference, even to your mom!
Hang in there, sweetie. I know how easy it isn't.
Sometimes we just can't figure things out and when things make no sense we just have to trust God. HE never promised life would be easy, only that HE would be there to help us through it.
ReplyDeleteI still pray each morning for you and your mom.
Hi Karen
ReplyDeleteI wonder why sometimes too. I care for my husband, who has physical and mental health issues, and is regularly in such misery that he has suicidal thoughts.
Maybe the Lord means to teach us patience and loving care; after all, he keeps loving us unconditionally regardless of our behaviours.
I've just finished reading your entire blog; I can only hope and pray my daughter and son care for me at the end of my life as you do.
Love your style of writing. You have an interesting post. I am pleased to understand your beliefs.
ReplyDeleteThank you guys. It is always nice to read your comments they really help. Reading my entire blog Sapphyre was a big task. Thanks and welcome best Neurosurgical Hospital .
ReplyDeleteI've often asked the same question. Why... but JeanMac's post that I read this morning made me realize that 'there still is a person in there'. And, it is the person we love. God knows His will and He will do it. It is not for us to ask 'why'.
ReplyDeleteI've often asked the same question. My dad died of a heart attack relatively young and quickly. My mom suffered for 16 long years with Alzheimers after he died. My mom was very dedicated to the church and very faithful yet was handed Alzheimers. I struggle to understand how things work somedays but I know that things happen as they are meant to happen.
ReplyDeleteI try not to ask why but sometimes it gets to me.You are right it is not for us to ask why and things happen as they are meant to happen.
ReplyDeleteYou ask the same question I ask everyday. WHY. I have to put it in the back of my mind and just pick everyday SOMETHING that gives me some blessing with them. Hand in there,,, know that SOMEONE up there knows your heart. Hope today is a OK day for you.
ReplyDeleteI had all these same questions when my Dad was dying from cancer. Why couldn't God just take him, instead of him laying there suffering day after day. I just had to trust God.
ReplyDeleteWhen I have been at your house, I am always so amazed at the love, patients and kindness that you have in caring for your Mom. I know that at times you must get tired, and it would be so easy to lose your patients, but I never see that. When I have been there, I have only seen extreme love that is given to your Mom by your whole family. All of you are to be commended for that, and you will be blessed for the care that you give your her.
Thanks guys.We are having a good day and your welcome anytime Charlotte.
ReplyDeleteI can remember wondering why many times with my mom. There are some things in life that seem very difficult to figure out.
ReplyDeleteI understand too Karen. For me, I was always determined that mom would not go till she was very old, and I would do whatever I had to to make sure of that! Well, I took on that task not knowing obviously what was ahead for her or me and what kind of life she would end up having at this point in time. Yes, being home, she has had better care then if I had put her in a facility, but still there has been the deterioration caused by the dementia that has brought her to this point of non-life basically. There is still the ability to interact with her, but only on a base level. With what I know about health and nutrition, alot of what she is dealing with now is the result of how she did or didn't take care of herself through out her life, diet and exercise...drinking water! By the time we intevened in these areas, the damages were already at work in her mind and body. So, now, I do the best I can, and I wait till she is ready to go home.
ReplyDeleteI'm just praying for you and loving you right now, Karen. I don't understand either. Faith is trusting God when we can't understand, and your faith is strong. God bless you.
ReplyDelete