Today is a much better day. Thanksgiving went great . My future daughter- in- law and her family are wonderful. She is a great cook and did almost all of it. Coming home to an empty house is still a little weird. It is dark and lonely. I think I told you my son moved out. Just a week or two after mom passed so I am having that empty nest thing along with missing mom.
When the grave digger man dug her grave he had to move the stone to be able to get to close enough to dig and that was almost a month ago . Well yesterday the stone was finally returned to where it belonged and I could put the flowers my niece made on top of it. We also got matching ones for both sides of the stone. It looks very nice and that made us all happy. Going out there and seeing the stone off to the side of the graves was bothering me and my sister. Her even more for some reason. My sister's son is going through a divorce and that is tearing my sister up. They have a 7 year old daughter that does not understand while daddy is living with grandma and not with her . My sister can't stand not knowing what is going to happen to her grand -daughter. She wishes her son and the grand- daughter would be able to live with her but of course the girls mommy is not going to let that happen. But it would be nice .
I still don't think I have grieved for mom enough . Waiting on the big break down. Just been to busy and can't get my mind around it. Work is not working out. I used to work at this place and loved it but now I feel out of place and like a teenager at there first job. Hope that changes. Everything is different than when I worked there before. But the money is good. Got my first check Thurs. Love that!!! I was looking in the newspaper for jobs yesterday trying to figure out what I could do that I might be comfy in. Guess what popped out at me . Home Health Aid , Companion for person with special needs. CNA's needed. Never wanted to do these kind of jobs before but now when I think about it they seem right.
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Karen, let time work it's way through your life with your mom... hhhmmmm CNA HUH,?, could be you so have been there but maybe a companion to start with. It sure would fill that void you have. BUT remember there really isn't much money in it, but sure fills the heart! keep that smile,, hope the BF is still by your side, and that is going well. hey you could find a new kid to move in hahhahahah ok not funny.. have a great weekend..
ReplyDeleteIt's great for you to have a job until you find another one. Huge adjustment.
ReplyDeleteAbout grieving, I found that it comes in waves with my mom and my late husband. You may have been grieving all along as you saw your mom go down hill.
You are so caring for your sister. Glad there is a soon to be daughter-in-law in the picture. How soon?
Divorce is always hard on the kids.
ReplyDeleteI think it is good to follow your heart about the right job. It is always hard to go back because it is never quite the same again.
Hope you find something that would be rewarding and just right for you.
Maybe a pet would help coming home to an empty house!?
You were with your mother for such a long time, I can only imagine how empty your house must feel. I hope you'll grieve as long as you need to......
ReplyDeleteYou certainly have the experience, love and compassion for being an excellent home health worker. I'll be praying for you to find a job you feel good about......
Your son's fiance sounds so sweet!
Hugs.... and keeping you in my prayers.