I called mom's pastor to come visit. He used to come some but it has been a while. He is not the pastor at our church anymore but he was when we were all very involved in church and he did my dads service when he died. And he was around when I got married and when my baby boy was born who is going to be 21 in April. Oh, how time flies.
I called and ask him to come see mom. He said he thought she had been put in a home and he had lost her. Anyway I am going to ask him to do her service. Doesn't that suck? She will be sitting right here with us and I am going to ask such a thing. The reason is I don't want a stranger doing it. The Hospice Chapman is nice but he has no memories of mom and dad . This pastor was and still is a friend. He has stories and memories he can share at the service. And I want him coming to visit so he will see her the way she is now too. And maybe she will respond to him. He might bring up a memory of her own about him.
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The Early, Mild to Moderate and Advanced stages of Alzheimer's in the brain.
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Hugs. I haven't stopped by for a while. Glad you are calling on an old friend/pastor who knows your mom. That will be a comfort when the day comes. Holding you in prayer.
ReplyDeleteBeckie
Karen... I know this is hard to do, but you're so wise to be planning ahead.
ReplyDeleteIt's good that your pastor who knew your parents is still around. It's more personal and meaningful when a pastor does the service who is known by the family.
I pray the visit goes well!
Hugs,
I think that is a good idea.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand though when the pastor said he thought he had lost her. Why couldn't he see her in a nursing home?
Karen, glad you are in touch with him and hope his health is well. Has he retired?
ReplyDeleteOne thing I did for my father and my late husband is write a tribute to them that they both heard while they were alive. Then that tribute was given by me at their funerals. If it had not been written before, I would not have had the presence of mind to write it after their death. Actually the tape of my father's funeral was played at his funeral. (That tribute is in chapter 10 of my book.)
I attended a funeral last year of a lady who died from Alzhemer's and so many wonderful memories of her were shared along with tributes to the loving caregiving of her husband.
Again, dear Karen, you are so appreciated.
Hugs,
Carol
Karen,
ReplyDeleteI don't think it sucks at all. I think you are a very wise and compassionate daughter to think ahead like this. It isn't easy, I'm sure, but it is smart.
Think of you often.
Hugs,
Kim
After my Dad died my Mum told us what she wanted for her funeral. She even arranged and paid for her burial plot. This took all the guessing out and it actually turned out to be a day of celeration when it happened. It's not so easy if you have to do it your way and wonder if they would have approved.
ReplyDeleteI have started to tell my daughter the things I would like at my funeral if she is able to do it. We even have funny conversations about it and I think when the time comes it will have helped her. I am only 62 and intend to be around some time but as they say "you never know what is around the corner". So that box is ticked at least. Now I just need to get my husband to talk about his day. Not so easy..............
Our pastor did not show up yesterday but called later to say he went to the Dentist and they kept his dentures. So he did not want to scare mom. Yes Carol he is still going strong. LOL!!!
ReplyDelete