Meltdown

OK, I had a meltdown today. I am a little stressed because the kitchen sink it stopped up and I can't get it unstopped. And now I have to have my brother come in and unstop it. I even took the pipes underneath apart . They are all clean . I put it back together and still stopped up. That means it is under the house or behind the wall. That just sucks.
But the meltdown came while the nurse was here. I guess I am going crazy . For months all I think about is mom's funeral. How stupid is that? I think about it all the time. Music, food , preacher, pallbearers, the service. I know the chapel takes care of a lot of this but mom has been so out of the real world so long that her friends and family are already passed or have not been around in yrs. I worry no one will come . Or a lot will come and then how do I feed them. When my dad died we had a family dinner at church . But we have not been to that church for yrs. Our pastor comes to visit now and than but he is a pastor of a new church and the members of the old church that might still be a live have not been by for a long time. I have gotten great advice from some of you on this before . But it just bugs me all the time. The new thing is open casket or closed. Mom looks so different now. No teeth. No glasses , skinny, and her hair . Lets not go there.
I ask the nurse if she had been to a service lately for a Alzheimer's patient like mom and if the casket was open. She said yes. Than I lost it and started crying. I cry at home alone all the time. But I keep it together when someone is here. Not today. I am so stupid.
I think I will reserve a room at the Western Sizzling and tell everyone to come by if they want after the service . What do you think.? I have been to two services that did that. It was OK. Now what about the casket. Opened or Closed?