Mom passed away Oct. 18th 2011 after many years struggleing with Alzhiemer's. This blog has many differant kinds of post. My old ones give tips to help you with your love one with Alz's . Take a look . Later ones tell of her last days. Hopefully it will help you in some way . Just remember to pray. You are never alone Jesus is always there with you.
Monday, December 7, 2009
I Am Gum
Mom said she was sad yesterday and I ask why. She sad because I am gum. I am sure she meant something else. Maybe I am sad and lonely or sad and scared.Or maybe she was sad because she did not know were she was. But it came out gum. Anyway we had a conversation which is good. Even if it does not make sense to anyone but mom.
Karen...I'm convinced that deep down inside your Momma she is there. I'm going to see my father this afternoon and even though MOST of the time he doesn't know me, there is always a glimmer of grace shining through in the darkness.
ReplyDeleteHe may not know me, but I know him.
Love to you~
Rebecca
It doesn't have to make sense to anyone but her, and she is so, so, so lucky that you understand that. My mom is still holding conversations, but often now a word is substituted for what she really means -- and we are left scratching our heads, wondering. But she knows what she meant! As I tell family or friends who come to visit Mom, "just try and enter into her world as much as possible, don't try and bring her into yours."
ReplyDeleteCass
It does hurt that love ones cannot enter our world, but they do have emotions and I guess we can enter their world with our emphathy even when the communication is no longer clear.
ReplyDeleteGood morning Karen,
ReplyDeleteI love what Cass said about entering into their world, rather than try bring them into ours... I'd never thought of it like that.
David called his slippers "strawberries" yesterday, after I said, "what?"..... we had a good laugh, first time he's done that.
Hope you're week is going well!
I think they do know us but maybe can't find the right words to tell us so. I have been living in moms world so long now it will be weird when I try to enter into the real world again.
ReplyDeleteHey Karen,
ReplyDeleteSometimes the words are not important. The fact is you are communicating with your mother. She does sense and feel your presence. It is like when we hold and talk to an infant, on some level they feel safe and warm and know are presence, even though they don;t have verbal language development. Being in the same room, the same space, the same moment is what is important. There is unlimited value and meaning in that. It is timeless and will always be. You know there are good days and bad days, some days the verbal communication will be more coherent, we can't predict those days and they get to be less and less. The bond between mother and daughter was there long before language and no one or no disease can ever take that away from you and your Mom.
Sometimes they don't mean exactly what they say since words can get lost in the meaning they're trying to convey. My mom-in-law says some of the same things and we're never sure since she often can seem happy when she says them.
ReplyDeleteThank you all. You are always so right.
ReplyDeleteI think Cass hit the nail on the head with entering their world rather than trying to get them back in our world. It took me a while to learn that with my mom, but once I did our visits were completely in her world. Our conversations often didn't make a lot of sense, but we did laugh a lot.
ReplyDeleteHi Karen,
ReplyDeleteI love what the doctor said - that the words aren't as key as the fact that you and your mom ae communicating. At some level, she "knows" or senses you loving presence and just wants to still be in relationship. Once again, I'm so touched by the wonderful loving work you are doing with you mom.
thanks, I and so happy that you all give me such good advice and nice words. It helps alot.
ReplyDelete